How to Be…Doggy Style – Day 4

by Lindsay Timmington

Need some background? Go HERE

MOM AND DAD.

IT’S YOUR DOG. POE.

TODAY IS CALLED A DAY OF TRAGEDY BECAUSE DID YOU EVEN KNOW THAT TODAY IS THE DAY THE MONKEY HAD AN ASSIDENT. SISTER WIFE AND I WERE JUST PLAYING THE GAME THAT IS CALLED WHO CAN LOVE THE MONKEY MORE AND DID YOU EVEN KNOW THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT THAT MONKEY’S PAW CAME OFF AND AUNTIE LADY TOOK IT AWAY EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKED DELICIOUS AND I NEEDED TO EAT IT. BUT THE THING THAT IS CALLED A SILVER LINING IS THAT THE MONKEY STILL MAKES ALL THE BEAUTIFUL SOUNDS EVEN WITH ONE PAW.

MONKEY TIME

IN OTHER NEWS DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER THAT WEIRD CAT WITH DINOSAUR PAWS THAT LIVES UNDER THE BED? WELL THAT CAT CAME OUT THIS ONE TIME AND I WENT OVER TO SAY A FRIENDLY HELLO AND DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT GIRL SMACKED ME WITH HER GIANT PAWS AND THAT WAS SO RUDE THAT LATER I DECIDED TO TASTE HER FOOD TO SEE WHAT THAT STUFF WAS LIKE AND IT WAS REALLY DELICIOUS SO SISTER WIFE TRIED SOME TOO AND DO YOU KNOW THAT WAS SO NICE OF ME TO SHARE AND SO AUNTIE LADY SAID “DUCK” AGAIN IN CELEBRATION. SHE IS REALLY SO LUCKY. POE DROOL

HERE IS A VERY HANDSOME PICTURE OF ME WITH MY TOY. SISTER WIFE IS NOT ALWAYS VERY GOOD AT SHARING BUT DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT IF I HUMP HER THAT SHE LETS ME PLAY WITH ANYTHING I WANT. ALSO SISTER WIFE AND I PLAYED THE CONTEST OF WHO CAN DROOL THE MOST WHILE AUNTIE EATS AND DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT I WONNED THAT GAME AND AUNTIE SHOULD BE VERY THANKFUL FOR OUR CONTEST BECAUSE SHE HAS TO WIPE IT OFF THE FLOOR AND DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT THAT IS CALLED CLEANING AND SHE SHOULD DO THAT MORE.

EAR MALFUNCTION

SOME OTHER NEWS THAT I THINK IS IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO BE KNOWING IS THAT ACTUALLY AUNTIE LADY MIGHT NOT BE SO SMART. I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR FOUR DAYS AND SHE STILL DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO PUT MY HARNESS ON AND THAT IS REALLY QUITE TROUBLING CAUSE IT’S ACTUALLY NOT VERY HARD. ALSO DO YOU SEE IN THIS PICTURE THAT I HAVE AN EAR MALFUNCTION AND EYE GOOBIES AND AUNTIE LADY DIDN’T EVEN FIX IT RIGHT AWAY AND THAT IS CALLED NEGLECT.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN SHAGGY LOVES SCOOBY DOO AND MISS YOU MORE THAN MONKEY MISSES HIS PAW.

YOUR DOG.

E.A.

POE

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