How to Be…Doggy Style-Day 3 (the day I start to lose it)

by Lindsay Timmington

What is this? Go HERE first.

MOM AND DAD.

IT’S YOUR DOG. POE.

I LEARNED A NEW WORD TODAY AND IT IS THE WORD CALLED “DUCK”AND AUNTIE LADY YELLED IT REAL LOUD SO IT MUST BE A GOOD WORD SO I WILL KEEP TAKING HER BOOKS AND EATING THE COVERS THAT ARE UGLY CAUSE THAT IS VERY HELPFUL. SHE IS SO LUCKY. 

poe book

AUNTIE LADY IS BROKEN BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL SOUNDS AND SMELLS THAT COMES OUT OF MY BUTT AND ACTUALLY REALLY THAT IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL BECAUSE I WORK VERY HARD TO DO THAT AND DID YOU KNOW THAT SISTER WIFE PUT HER NOSE IN MY BUTT AND SNIFFED REAL GOOD AND SHE IS VERY SMART AT APPRECIATING THOSE THINGS. I LOVE SISTER WIFE. 

I INVENTED ANOTHER REALLY GOOD GAME TODAY CALLED BE AS QUIET AS A DE-SQUEAKED TOY WHEN AUNTIE LADY IS IN THE SHOWER SO SHE WONDERS WHAT ME AND SISTER WIFE ARE DOING AND GETS OUT OF THE SHOWER AND RUNS AROUND NAKED AND MAKES PUDDLES WHEN ME AND SISTER WIFE ARE JUST SITTING THERE DOING NOTHING BUT BEING REALLY REALLY GOOD. AND THAT IS REALLY FUNNY BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE PUDDLES ON THE FLOOR AND SO THAT’S NOT EVEN FAIR.

tug of war

I AM REALLY REALLY HELPING HERE AND I DON’T EVEN THINK AUNTIE APPRECIATES IT EVEN THOUGH SHE REALLY PROBABLY SHOULD. I BRUNG HER ALL HER SHOES AND THAT IS SO NICE AND WHY DOESN’T SHE APPRECIATE THAT. I BROUGHT HER THE BROWN FLIP FLOP AND THEN THE BLACK BOOT BECAUSE I EVEN SAW ONCE THAT SHE WORE THOSE THINGS AND HER BEHAVIOR IS CALLED NO MANNERS.

SISTER WIFE AND I HAVE A CONTEST THAT I AM WINNING AND IT IS THE CONTEST OF WHO CAN LICK ALL THE LOTION OFF OF AUNTIE LADY’S LEGS RIGHT AFTER SHE PUTS IT ON AND DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT LOTION SMELLS LIKE FLOWERS AND NOT BACON AND SO THAT IS GROSS  BUT I WILL KEEP DOING IT. 

IF YOU COME BACK EVER BRING ME PRESENTS. I WANT SIX TENNIS BALLS, TWO MONKEYS AND NINE BONES.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN AUNTIE LADY LOVES SCOTCH.

I THINK THAT’S A LOT.

E.A

POE

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