How to Be…Doggy Style-Day 2

by Lindsay Timmington

Go here first if you have no idea what this is.

MOM AND DAD.

IT’S ME. YOUR DOG. POE.

TODAY I INBENTED A NEW GAME CALLED TOUCH AUNTIE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE ALL DAY LONG AND DON’T EVEN EVER STOP AT ALL. IT WAS FUN. I’LL TEACH YOU IF YOU EVER COME BACK. YOU’RE WELCOME.

ALSO TODAY I TAUGHT SISTER WIFE HOW TO KILL ALL THE TOYS AND DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? THAT RUDE GIRL TOOK MY PINK HEDGEHOG AND STARTED TO TAKE HIS INSIDES OUT AND THAT IS NOT OKAY SO I TOOK HER PRECIOUS TENNIS BALLS AND DE-FUZZ ED THEM ALL CAUSE THAT’S CALLED KARMA.

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BUT THEN I GOT TENNIS FUZZ-BALL COUGH AND AUNTIE HAD TO HELP ME AND DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT THAT’S KIND OF LIKE TENNIS ELBOW EXCEPT NOT REALLY.

I GOT PRETTY TIRED AFTER TEACHING ALL THESE SISTER WIFES AND AUNTIES ALL THESE THINGS THAT I KNOW SO WELL SO I TOOK A NAP BUT KEPT PLAYING MY AMAZING GAME CALLED TOUCH AUNTIE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOOD AT THAT GAME EVEN WHEN I AM SLEEPING. HERE IS A PICTURE.

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SEE HOW CUTE I AM. I BET YOU MISS ME NOW. I MISS YOU TOO. BUT  SERIOUSLY CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH PEOPLE LOVE TO STOP ME AND SISTER WIFE AND DO YOU KNOW THAT SOMEONE SAID THAT I WAS A GIRL AND SISTER WIFE WAS A BOY AND THESE PEOPLE IN QUEENS ARE NOT VERY SMART CEPT THEY ARE CAUSE THEY THINK I’M CUTE.

I NEED TO GO NOW OKAY CAUSE THERE’S A TENNIS BALL THAT I NEED TO PUT IN MY MOUTH AND SISTER WIFE IS BARKING AT A DOG ON TV AND EVEN I KNOW THAT’S THE MAGIC OF TELEVISION AND BESIDES SHE HAS ME WHAT DOES SHE NEED THAT DUMB BUNNY TV DOG FOR.

OKAY. BYE. DON’T FORGET I LOVE YOU OKAY. AND SISTER WIFE AND AUNTIE LADY TOO.

E.A.

POE

sw-bh-bed

P.S. I ONLY RAN AWAY FROM MY POOP ONCE TODAY AND THAT WAS SO GOOD. POOPING IS STARTING TO BE FUN CAUSE DID YOU EVEN KNOW HOW EXCITED AUNTIE GETS WHEN I DO IT. THAT IS PRETTY WEIRD.

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