How to Be…Doggy Style-Day 1.

by Lindsay Timmington

Confused? Me too. But at least you can click here for the introduction.

MOM AND DAD.

HI.

IT’S POE. YOUR DOG. 

I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW SOME THINGS ABOUT TODAY EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU’RE HAVING SO MUCH FUN BUT STILL MISS ME CAUSE I’M A HANDSOME DEVIL.

AUNTIE LADY SINGS WHEN SHE WALKS AROUND. SOMETIMES IT’S WEIRD AND I DON’T LIKE IT SO I GET THE TOY MONKEY THAT SOUNDS LIKE CATS BEING NEUTERED AND I SWING IT AROUND TO MAKE NOISE BECAUSE IF SHE’S GOING TO SING THAN AT LEAST I CAN PROVIDE BACKUP SO SOMEONE WILL ENJOY IT. ALSO THAT ORANGE CAT THAT LIVES ON THE KITCHEN TABLE IS A BITCH. 

poe-monkey

MY SISTER WIFE BARKS IN MY FACE A LOT. I AM PRETTY SURE SHE IS JUST TELLING ME “POE YOU ARE ONE HANDSOME DEVIL MY LOVE FOR YOU KNOWS NO BOUNDS BE MINE FOREVER’” BUT ALSO I THINK SHE’S JUST KIND OF RUDE.

WHEN AUNTIE WAS TAKING A SHOWER TODAY I STOLE THE CAP OFF HER FACE WASH CAUSE IT LOOKED DELICIOUS AND PLUS IT WAS FUNNY TO WATCH AUNTIE RUN OUT OF THE SHOWER AFTER ME TO GET IT AND ALSO SHE NEEDS TO DO MORE PULL UPS. 

I WAS SO GOOD TO TODAY AND THAT’S NOT EVEN A LIE. I CLIMBED UP ON AUNTIE’S CHAIR AND HELPED HER DO HER WORK AND DO YOU KNOW THAT ACTUALLY SHE KIND OF HOGS THE CHAIR SO THAT WAS ANNOYING AND I GOT BACK DOWN TO PLAY WWF WITH MY SISTER WIFE ALSO KNOWN AS THAT GIRL WHO BARKS IN MY FACE BUT I LOVE HER BUTTHOLE AND SO I SMACKED HER AROUND A LITTLE AND I LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES ME AND LATER WE SNUGGLED. 

DID YOU KNOW THERE’S A BLACK CAT WITH TOO MANY TOES LIVING UNDER THE BED? THAT FREAKS ME OUT MORE THAN POOP LEAVING MY BUTT. MORE ON THAT LATER.

I’M TIRED NOW. AND ACTUALLY WHAT THAT JUST MEANS IS AUNTIE IS TIRED CAUSE I’M PLAYING WITH MY SISTER WIFE AND TELLING HER WHAT TO SAY CAUSE I DON’T HAVE THUMBS BUT THAT DON’T MATTER NONE CAUSE I’M REALLY VERY CUTE. 

OKAY. 

I LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU. BUT I’M REALLY HAPPY AT MY CAMP. OKAY? GO DO FUN THINGS. I STILL LOVE YOU. OKAY. YOU HANG UP FIRST. NO YOU. NO YOU. NO YOU. 

LOVE.

E.A

POEPoe-Day 1

 

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