How to Be…New.
by Lindsay Timmington
What a sweet, sweet theme Day 20 of the Yoga Girl challenge turned out to be. Something New that day’s challenge encouraged and I had it in the bag by breakfast. Literally.
This little beauty is a “cragel” and is “The Bagel Store” in Brooklyn’s response to Dominique Ansel’s cronut. I have the cronut and all subsequent knock-offs to thank for my brother taking the trip out to NYC, I think so naturally our agenda included hunting down both the cragel and the doughssant given that neither of us were willing to get up at the butt crack of dawn and stand in line for a precious cronut. Someday, Mr. Ansel, just not now.
After trekking to Brooklyn on a day that felt like we’d entered the seventh ring of Hell, temperature wise, we stood in line with a bunch of hipster fools and I crossed my fingers in my pockets that they had one of these damn cragels that my brother so badly wanted. There were a grand total of six left in the display case and I selected the cinnamon sugar, my brother the bacon and cheese cragel which looked like it could sustain a family of five for a week. I’m not gonna lie. It was a damn good pastry and trying a “something new” that falls in that category? Not a problem.
After my brother left for the airport that afternoon, I gathered up Fable for a run in the miserable heat and to work off the breakfast that likely contained a days worth of calories. As we ran I progressively grew hotter and more uncomfortable. I wanted nothing more than to lose the tank top I was wearing but I was super self-conscious about my belly-the part of my body that I’m most insecure about. I’m strong and have a strong core but it’s not a six pack and it’s not, by any means, flat. I’ll wear a bikini to the beach but that’s the only time I’m willing to bare my belly. I was, however, so damn hot over the course of this run that I thought, “Fuck it.” I knew this wasn’t about anything other than my own insecurity and projection over what other’s would think, not think or say about the fact that I was running in a sports bra, and was I really willing to let my insecurity trump my physical discomfort?
But I didn’t take my tank top off. I tucked it into my sports bra in an effort to both cool down and accomplish a different kind of something new for now. It might seem a baby step, or like nothing at all, but for me it was a hurdle I’ve longed to overcome. It was exposing the part of myself that I consider the most vulnerable to criticism and ridicule to the world and that was and is terrifying.
I want to be able to eat a cragel (and enjoy it) in the morning and run with the my shirt off in the blistering afternoon heat of a NYC summer. I want my two something new(s) during this challenge day to be a paradigm shift in my way of thinking about food and my body— I want to have my cragel and run too.