How to Be…Smart(ish).

by Lindsay Timmington

Recently I went on a date with a man that I’ve been out with a handful of times.  He’s  creative, sweet, funny and I like spending time with him.  However, on our last date we had a conversation that’s hung around in my head ever since.

It went like this:

HIM:  But darling, you’re a smart-ish girl…

ME:  I’m sorry, did you just call me smart-ish?

HIM:  Well, yes. You’re smart.

ME:  No, you said I was smart-ish.  There’s a difference.

(See how smart I am!?)

HIM:  Well I just meant that I have an extraordinarily high IQ, I know a number of languages.  Like French.  Do you speak French?

ME:  No, I don’t speak French.  I took Spanish from the time I was in kindergarten up through high school but all I really know is that “embarazada” doesn’t mean you’re embarrassed.

HIM:  Well, see. There you go.

ME:  There you go? I don’t understand.  Are you saying that because I’m not fluent in another language that I’m automatically less intelligent than you?

(He looked at me.  This was headed in a direction he wasn’t sure he wanted to travel.)

HIM:  Listen, you’re smart.  I’m just saying that…you know what, it doesn’t matter…

And with that he carefully guided our conversation back into safe territory.

What a smart, smart man.

Now, listen I’m not proclaiming to be a genius, but I think I’m relatively smart.  I worked my ass off in school, I’m an avid reader and I like to think that I have a good mixture of street and book smarts.

I mean…

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Would you think to hold a mattress like this in order to put one thousand jelly beans in your roommate’s bed?

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And can you fit a roll of toilet paper in a Coach purse?

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And finally, did you realize that tampons are multi-purpose household items?

Moral of the story?

Je ne peux pas parler Français but sometimes I speak English sorta good and frankly, that guy?

Cute-ish at best.

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