How to Be…Smart(ish).
by Lindsay Timmington
Recently I went on a date with a man that I’ve been out with a handful of times. He’s creative, sweet, funny and I like spending time with him. However, on our last date we had a conversation that’s hung around in my head ever since.
It went like this:
HIM: But darling, you’re a smart-ish girl…
ME: I’m sorry, did you just call me smart-ish?
HIM: Well, yes. You’re smart.
ME: No, you said I was smart-ish. There’s a difference.
(See how smart I am!?)
HIM: Well I just meant that I have an extraordinarily high IQ, I know a number of languages. Like French. Do you speak French?
ME: No, I don’t speak French. I took Spanish from the time I was in kindergarten up through high school but all I really know is that “embarazada” doesn’t mean you’re embarrassed.
HIM: Well, see. There you go.
ME: There you go? I don’t understand. Are you saying that because I’m not fluent in another language that I’m automatically less intelligent than you?
(He looked at me. This was headed in a direction he wasn’t sure he wanted to travel.)
HIM: Listen, you’re smart. I’m just saying that…you know what, it doesn’t matter…
And with that he carefully guided our conversation back into safe territory.
What a smart, smart man.
Now, listen I’m not proclaiming to be a genius, but I think I’m relatively smart. I worked my ass off in school, I’m an avid reader and I like to think that I have a good mixture of street and book smarts.
Would you think to hold a mattress like this in order to put one thousand jelly beans in your roommate’s bed?
And can you fit a roll of toilet paper in a Coach purse?
And finally, did you realize that tampons are multi-purpose household items?
Moral of the story?
Je ne peux pas parler Français but sometimes I speak English sorta good and frankly, that guy?
Cute-ish at best.